• Jasmine Nelson

He Just Loves Me for Me

Now for all you ladies who feel like having Hirsutism/PCOS is holding you back from love. Let me be that person to tell you, that you are thinking way too much about it! There are plenty of us hairy women who have come across great people to love, hold, and pluck our chin hairs. It will be a matter of time for you too to find that special someone.

On my off time, I go around reading a variety of sad stories about how this condition has held one back. Either this person is depressed, insecure, embarrassed, ashamed, confused, and/or all kind of sad. I respond to the post giving some uplifting encouragement, then be on my way, hoping they took and put to use whatever kind of advice I had to offer.

So the other day I came across this one young ladies post. She pretty much said that she doesn't know if she will ever be with anyone and how she wishes she could be like other girls. I'm sure a lot of you guys had probably said that same thing at one point of your life or another. I felt bad because she was young, not teen young but like just made 20 young. Anyway, I told her what I'm about to tell you all.

When I was younger I was also insecure about the way I looked, this excessive hair that I had to deal with, and particularly the dark spots throughout my neck. I was so self-conscious about it that I went and bought makeup to cover up the area that I obviously wanted hidden. I wore this makeup for years and messed up so many tops, but I didn't care as long as my neck matched the color of my face, trying to look as normal as possible.

One day I came across an old friend from High school and we began talking which lead to dating. At some point one night, he decided to ask me what was wrong with my neck and why it looks the way it did. Mind you this whole time I been thinking I was in the clear, but this guy had something else to say about it. Now I know what you all must be thinking " How dare he asks you about your neck, What a turn-off!". Well at the time I felt like I was caught red-handed. I really have to say a sense of embarrassment came over me, but I had to suck it up.

I explained to him that I had a condition called hirsutism and due to the excessive hair growth on my neck, I have to shave which leads to having ingrown hair a lot of the time. Hense the dark spot all over my neck. And do you know what he said after I had explained myself? He told me "Well can you take that sh!t off your neck, it's getting on my clothes. I can teach you how to shave correctly so you won't have those issues". Can you believe it? This man was going to teach me how to shave correctly, and he really didn't have a problem with what I thought was a major issue (at least when it came to dating).

I had always figured that at some point if I ever where to be with someone serious they will come across all of my imperfections. So really I needed to stay true to my personality and not my looks so much. He later told me that the makeup actually looks worse than just having my skin bare. This was good to hear, I really didn't want to walk around looking like a crunch bar. ( I know some of you need to hear that too, SERIOUSLY) This made me wonder about the other guys that I have dated, Why haven't they said anything about it? Well, I come to the conclusion that they weren't honest and outspoken enough to deal with. So I believe I found the perfect guy who not only said something but helped me along the way. The best part of all this is that we are married now and been happy together for 7 years. It was my personality, confidence, and sarcasm he fell in love with. Not my skin issues.

So if you come across someone who is questioning your looks, don't get defensive, or become ill against the person. You never know what will happen next. That person may just change your life! Also, if your that self conscious about your look, go ask an HONEST friend what they think. If they say you look fine, go with it and move on about your day. It's really not that serious as you think. Self-confidence is a personal thing. That's always attractive.

Maybe this read gave a little hope!

-Jasmine Nelson

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